Do you have children? How old are they? If they’re in school, how are they doing? Do you know that you can teach them something now, however young they happen to be, something that will benefit them for the rest of their lives? You can start teaching them something today that you may never have been taught; you can teach them how to practice goal setting and goal achievement.
I am convinced that most people finish their schooling, even college degrees, without ever having been taught how to effectively set and achieve goals. We probably heard about it in school; we might have been told to set goals…in fact we likely were told to “reach for the stars”! And that’s good, as far as it goes, but it doesn’t go far enough. Let’s consider how you can teach your children to achieve their goals. Teach them now, and they will use this knowledge for the rest of their lives.
So where do we start? Since I don’t know how old your children are, I’ll start with pre-schoolers. You think that’s too young? Think again! Let’s say your little girl, age 5, wants a popular toy. You can respond with “OK, we’ll get that the next time we’re shopping.” You can say maybe, and you can just say no. I’m going to assume that the toy is something you don’t object to so it’s OK for her to have it.
Here’s where you can start teaching about goals, even though you don’t use the word. Let’s call your daughter Susy. If you just say you’ll buy it the next time you’re shopping you’ve taught her a little about goal setting. You taught her to say “I want it!” and she’ll get it. Or, you can talk to her about why she wants that particular toy. At 5 years old I’m sure she will be able to give you all kinds of reasons. Help her think about why she wants it so she can really see herself having it and having all the fun that will come with it. You’re teaching her to dream and visualize. These are two important skills for achieving goals.
Now that Susy is really clear on how much she wants the toy, you can think of some ways she can “earn” it. I’m not thinking of actually having her earn the money to pay for it (although that’s not such a bad idea). I’m thinking of things you will have her do and accomplish before you will buy the toy. These should not be things she’s already doing; they should be things outside her normal activities.
Let’s say you want her to learn to make her own bed when she gets up in the morning. This is something new for her, and she’s old enough to understand that she’s learning it and doing it so she can have the toy. Now each morning as you help her learn to make the bed (and maybe even help her make it!), you can talk to her about the toy she’s going to have and how much fun she’s going to have with it. This is helping her keep her dream alive, and it’s making her task more acceptable. She’s not thinking about the work of making the bed; she’s thinking about the fun of playing with the toy! She’s also learning that by changing her habits she’s reaching her goal. But, don’t explain that to her right now, she is only 5 after all!
Now the day comes when you buy her the toy. She’s excited, but not just because you’re buying the toy. She’s excited and feeling really proud of herself because you’re telling her how proud you are that she has learned to make her bed, that she’s done it every day, and that she has really earned her toy! Congratulate her. She deserves it…and so do you.
Now, if you really want her to learn how to achieve goals, help her identify the next dream. You can make the next dream a little bigger. This one may take a little longer to achieve; but she’ll be excited about achieving it, and she’ll feel really good about herself because she’s the one accomplishing it. That’s giving her a great self image that she really deserves!
One more thing…you can make her daily bed-making routine a small part of the program for the next goal…no use giving up a good thing!
Congratulations! You have taught Susy a great lesson that she will use for the rest of her life.